I really need help. I feel so left out! :'(?

I'm 14 and I've never had a boyfriend. I have had younger kids like me but never one my own age. I'm not popular (I don't see why it should matter but apparently in teen world it does) Im smart and i like to read and stuff. im just not outgoing really. I enjoy spending time with my family more than friends and this is why... I feel like I am an adult (or @ least waaay older mature teen) trapped in an adult body. I've been throughg stuff none of my friends have. abusive mother, sick grandmother (alziemers), faced death due to illness 5 times, abusive uncle, critical aunt, cronic abdominal pain due to a disease, cronic female issues (never ending period, on birth control) and a murder in my neighborhood. I knew the vitoms. please don't tell me it could be worse because i know it can. but what im saying is that these expieriences have made me more mature than my friends. it makes me see more in life than boys and the mall and because of this I don't have many friends and have never had a boy like me. I feel lonely and like there is something wrong with me. It's just SO HARD for me to care about clothes and stuff when I'm having to deal with the pain of my stomach, issues in my extended family, and not being able to have children ( my gyno told me chances are slim because if i go off the birth control i bleed so heavy and it doesn't stop and it has almost killed me twice) I would really love some tips on releasing these concerns some and being able to be a kid. and like i said i cnt talk to my mom because we've had some issues, my gma has alziemers so she cnt remember, my aunt critisizes me, and i have no big sisters. Please help? I know i sound messed up but it's my life that is, and i don't wanna be :(